Parental Biblical Discipline

Question: "How should Christians discipline their children? What does the Bible say?"

Answer: How to best discipline children can be difficult task to learn, but it is crucially important. Some claim that physical discipline (corporal punishment) such as spanking is the only method the Bible supports. Others insist that “time-outs” and other punishments that do not involve physical discipline are far more effective. What does the Bible say? The Bible teaches that physical discipline is appropriate, beneficial, and necessary.

Do not misunderstand—we are by no means advocating child abuse. A child should never be disciplined physically to the extent that it causes actual physical damage. According to the Bible, though, the appropriate and restrained physical discipline of children is a good thing and contributes to the well-being and correct upbringing of the child.

Many Scriptures do in fact promote physical discipline. “Don't fail to correct your children. They won't die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death” (Proverbs 23:13-14; see also 13:24; 22:15; 20:30). The Bible strongly stresses the importance of discipline; it is something we must all have in order to be productive people, and it is much more easily learned when we are young. Children who are not disciplined often grow up rebellious, have no respect for authority, and as a result find it difficult to willingly obey and follow God. God Himself uses discipline to correct us and lead us down the right path and to encourage repentance for our wrong actions (Psalm 94:12; Proverbs 1:7; 6:23; 12:1; 13:1; 15:5; Isaiah 38:16; Hebrews 12:9).

In order to apply discipline correctly and according to biblical principles, parents must be familiar with the scriptural advice regarding discipline. The book of Proverbs contains plentiful wisdom regarding the rearing of children, such as, “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother” (Proverbs 29:15). This verse outlines the consequences of not disciplining a child—the parents are disgraced. Of course, discipline must have as its goal the good of the child and must never be used to justify the abuse and mistreatment of children. Never should it be used to vent anger or frustration.

Discipline is used to correct and train people to go in the right way. “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11). God's discipline is loving, as should it be between parent and child. Physical discipline should never be used to cause lasting physical harm or pain. Physical punishment should always be followed immediately by comforting the child with assurance that he/she is loved. These moments are the perfect time to teach a child that God disciplines us because He loves us and that, as parents, we do the same for our children.

Can other forms of discipline, such as “time-outs,” be used instead of physical discipline? Some parents find that their children do not respond well to physical discipline. Some parents find that “time-outs,” grounding, and/or taking something away from the children is more effective in encouraging behavioral change. If that is indeed the case, by all means, a parent should employ the methods that best produce the needed behavioral change. While the Bible undeniably advocates physical discipline, the Bible is more concerned with the goal of building godly character than it is in the precise method used to produce that goal.

Making this issue even more difficult is the fact that governments are beginning to classify all manner of physical discipline as child abuse. Many parents do not spank their children for fear of being reported to the government and risk having their children taken away. What should parents do if a government has made physical discipline of children illegal? According to Romans 13:1-7, parents should submit to the government. A government should never contradict God’s Word, and physical discipline is, biblically speaking, in the best interest of children. However, keeping children in families in which they will at least receive some discipline is far better than losing children to the “care” of the government.

In Ephesians 6:4, fathers are told not to exasperate their children. Instead, they are to bring them up in God’s ways. Raising a child in the “training and instruction of the Lord” includes restrained, corrective, and, yes, loving physical discipline.

Recommended Resource: The New Dare to Discipline by James Dobson.

Website: www.gotquestions.org

Godly parent

The Influence of a Godly Parent
2 Timothy 1:1-5

Over the years, a number of people have expressed a desire to hear more about my mother Rebecca. I mention her often in sermons because she was one of my greatest influences. In the next two days, I'll share with you a few of the fundamental life lessons she taught me. These are instructions I believe every parent should give children.

My mother taught me to pray. Every night we knelt together next to my bed while she spoke with the Lord. I listened to her words and her tone, which gave me a pattern for my own prayers.

My mother brought every need before God. Every week she worked 40 hours in a textile mill to bring home $9.10. I can still picture those checks. Yes, times have changed and inflation must be taken into account, but poor is poor. With less than 10 dollars a week, we had to cover rent, food, clothing, bus fare, and all the little expenses that crop up. I would get nervous sometimes and ask Mother how we were going get by. She said, "We're going to trust God. We read in the Bible how He answered prayers then, and He's going to meet our needs now."

Mother had never heard the word "theology," but she had plenty of it. She did not attend seminars or study child-rearing books. Rebecca read the Bible and applied God's principles to her life. Then she made sure her son knew how to do the same. Moms and Dads, that is what it means to be a godly parent.

Website: www.intouch.org

Rapture of Children

Are All Children Raptured?

Q. I do not believe that “all” children will be raptured as some teach. First an analogy of the last days judgment could be the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. There no children were spared.

Second…and a better analogy…would be the story of Noah. There, all breathing life was destroyed, except that which was on the ark (i.e. Noah and his wife and children), and all the remaining children on earth were destroyed with no exception.

Third…the first part of the tribulation is described like “the days of Noah”….”eating and drinking and marrying” (business as usual…odd if a billion children had disappeared) and thus a parallel is made between the two events.

Fourth during the last half of the 7 year tribulation the earth dwellers are described as having trouble getting enough food….a problem that would certainly be exacerbated by the presence of unbelievers children desperately needing to be fed.

Fifth logic dictates and scripture suggests that a “believers” children will be raptured/saved (e.g. Noah’s children) but an “unbelievers” children will not be raptured/saved (e.g. all children of unbelievers in Noah’s day).

A. You’re right in saying that Sodom and Gomorrah and Noah’s Flood are models of the end times judgment, but they’re not models of the Rapture. There’s never been a large scale event like the Rapture.

And you’re wrong in saying that all children were destroyed in those two events. If Paul was correct in saying that before reaching the age of accountability all children have eternal life (Romans 7:9), then the children of those two judgments went directly to Paradise where they waited in comfort for the Lord’s arrival.

The points you make are applicable to children born during the last 7 years, but to the Rapture. I’ll stick with my opinion that all children, including the pre-born, will be raptured with the Church.

Website: www.gracethrufaith.com

Children

Teach Your Children Well

Q. As I grow and learn all that God wants to teach me, I’m more and more burdened for my children. (ages 11,8,and 5). Last night, during our evening family devotion, the older two began asking questions that tied in with end-times and were related to a passage in Thessalonians we had just read. There sentiments were of course those of fear that they might get left behind or have to endure hardship in the last days. I tried to comfort them by telling them that instead of worrying over what might happen, they should be mostly concerned about their salvation and their personal relationship with the Lord. (The older two have made professions of faith but still are learning about faith and what it is to be a follower of Jesus Christ). I don’t want to burden them with deep teachings that their little minds can’t yet comprehend, but I do want to help prepare them to meet our Lord. Do you know of or can you recommend any Biblically sound literature or resources for children their age that I might study and implement in our devotion time?

A. Take comfort in the fact that children who are not intellectually mature enough to understand the issues of sin and salvation automatically go in the Rapture, because the Lord doesn’t hold us accountable for things we can’t understand. Once they’re mature enough to comprehend these things, they need to learn about them and make an informed decision for themselves. If the two older ones already understand and are born again, they don’t have anything to worry about. Ephesians 1:13-14 says the Holy Spirit has been sealed within them to guarantee their inheritance.

Remember, we’re saved because we believe a certain thing, not because we behave a certain way. All we need to understand to qualify for the Rapture is that we’re sinners, that Jesus died for us, and if we ask Him to He will save us from our sins and give us eternal life. You don’t need any special curriculum to teach a child that much. Just get a Children’s Bible, read the verses with them, and talk about it. John 3:16, Matt. 7:7-8, John 6:28-29, Romans 10:9 Ephesians 1:13-14 and others like those should do it.

Be careful not to get them confused about how they should act because these verses make it clear that belief is all that’s required of them. You can teach them about good behavior as a sign of their gratitude later. The worst thing you can do to them now is make them think that Jesus will only love them if they’re “good” or that if they misbehave He’ll take their salvation away from them.

Website: www.gracethrufaith.com

The Great Tribulation

Tribulation Children?

Q. Thank you for you website, it has been a blessing for me and my family. I think we agree that all children under the age of reason will be taken in the rapture and that children will be born in the millennium to those who survive the tribulation, but what about during the tribulation. Will children be born during that seven year period?

A. I haven’t found anything to suggest that there would be no children born during the 70th Week of Daniel. In fact, Jesus spoke about the difficulty pregnant women and nursing mothers would have in fleeing from the anti-Christ at the beginning of the Great Tribulation, which is in the middle of the last 7 years. (Matt. 24:19) This alone would suggest that mothers will continue to give birth during that time.

Website: www.gracethrufaith.com

Praying for your Kids Salvation

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Is praying for your kids salvation a waste of time, since God doesn't "force" His will on anyone?

By Abraham Israel

http://www.apostolicrevelation.blogspot.com/

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It is true that God never forces His will over anybody, not even the kids. At the same time kids are put under the mentorship of the parents. In other words, God expects the parent to train the children up with the help of God (Duet 11:19; 32:46). This is the reason the Bible says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." (Prov 22:6). Training a child includes, teaching the child to pray, read the Bible, correct them when they do wrong, etc... it also includes praying for the little child to God who has put the parent as a trainer over the kids life. This is the reason God has given instruction for the parents to not provoke their children to wrath (Eph 6:4). Say a parent was upset a particular day, the child comes as usual naggingly for a simple thing. Suddenly the parent blows off and the child gets hurt. If this saga continues perpetually, how will the child be trained in a godly way for it to be saved? Here in this situation what does God expect? He expects the parent to pray toward Him for grace and wisdom to deal with the situation, instead of being reactive without prayer (James 1:5). The bottom line is, does God require the parent to pray for their children? Of course as we have seen above it is absolutely necessary.

1) The first reason we should pray for our children is, God's promise of salvation comes as a package for the whole family unit. It does not separate the children as separate entities. Say for example, when the Philippian Jailer asked Paul, "What must I do to be saved?", Apostle Paul said, "....Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household." (Acts 16:31). What does it mean? It means that when a Father of a house or a Mother of a house gets saved, God gets his spiritual hold over other members of the family too (1 Cor 7:14). They are the legal authority gateways that God has set forth in the natural physical realm through which either God or the Devil can have influence inside the family. The Father and Mother is like a shepherd over the sheep who are their children. So only Jesus said to His disciples " ....All of you will be made to stumble because of Me this night, for it is written: ‘ I will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.' (Matt 26:31). The same Jesus as a faithful shepherd prayed for his weak apostolic sheep Peter and thus he was saved and became a great apostolic rock because his faith did not fail during the crisis (Luke 22:31-32). If the Father or Mother fails to pray, the whole family unit gets affected.

2) God expects the Fathers and Mothers to pray for their children so that He can answer their prayer work at the right appointed time. Prayer is a hard work that brings invaluable reward. God promised to restore the children of Israel in the future because Rachel as a mother wept for them,"A voice was heard in Ramah, lamentation and bitter weeping, Rachel weeping for her children, refusing to be comforted for her children.....refrain your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; for your work shall be rewarded, says the LORD, and they shall come back from the land of the enemy. There is hope in your future, says the LORD, That your children shall come back to their own border." (Jer 31:15-17). What a wonderful promise to hold on for our children! Praise the Lord.

3) When a child goes astray, their parent's will always get troubled. If you as a parent have already thanked God and prayed every day for the child's well-being, when the trouble comes in that's when God will step in to deliver your children from calamity at the moment you call Him. This promise can be claimed by any parent who has actively prayed with thanks giving for their children in advance. The Bible says, "Offer to God thanksgiving, and pay your vows to the Most High [Note: In advance].Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me." (Ps 50:14-15). The main meaning of the word 'saved' is 'to get delivered from evil'. In this way our children will be delivered from evil if we by faith pray and thank God in advance which is equal to 'paying our vows (promises)' [i.e. promising to return the glory to God through your continuous thanksgiving]. If we as a parent do not fulfill the precondition, we will not see the promise of God's deliverance that gets activated only for those who have taken the 'vows of thanksgiving' upon themselves.

4) The next reason we should pray the promises of God for our children is because God says in His word, "Put Me in remembrance; Let us contend together; State your case, that you may be acquitted [i.e. Justified]" (Is 43:26). The word 'remembrance' in Hebrew is 'zakar' which means '1) to remember, recall, call to mind a) (Qal) to remember, recall b) (Niphal) to be brought to remembrance, be remembered, be thought of, be brought to mind c) (Hiphil) 1) to cause to remember, remind 2) to cause to be remembered, keep in remembrance 3) to mention 4) to record 5) to make a memorial, make remembrance'. This reminds us that we are indeed building up a memorial [i.e. a visible structure to cause God to act on our behalf] before God by mentioning His promises which He has made regarding our children. When we spend time with God stating the case of our children through the promises of God, God then justifies them and brings them under His guidance and protection supernaturally. The following promises stand true for your children, so substitute your child's name in it and pray to God.

"All your children shall be taught by the LORD,
And great shall be the peace of your children." (Isaiah 54:13).

"But thus says the LORD:

"Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away,
And the prey of the terrible be delivered;
For I will contend with him who contends with you,
And I will save your children." (Is 49:25).

"Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine
In the very heart of your house,
Your children [shall be] like olive plants
All around your table." (Ps 128:3).

“Arise, cry out in the night,

At the beginning of the watches;

Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord.

Lift your hands toward Him

For the life of your young children,

Who faint from hunger at the head of every street.” (Lamentations 2:19).

“The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,

To the soul who seeks Him.

It is good that one should hope and wait quietly

For the salvation of the LORD.” (Lamentations 3:25-26).

5) If a parent walks in the fear of the Lord, it will have a direct blessing upon their children (Proverbs 20:7; Ps 132:12; 103:17). When a child grows up to become an adult their parents will be the greatest role-model in their life to follow. Let the parent be an example to pray for their children, so that the children after they become adults will pray for their children and for their parents too. It is a blessing that will continue for generations down the line (Is 59:21; Zech 12:1). See here what Apostle Paul spoke about Timothy whose mother and grandmother were strong in faith, "...when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also." (2 Tim 1:5). Actually the faith that was in the grandmother got imparted in to her daughter and then in to her grandson. They both must have prayed much for the little Timothy when he was growing up, that he finally became an Apostle trained under one of the the greatest apostolic father of all time who is Apostle Paul himself. O what a privilege! Praise the Lord!

6) If God really does not intervene in to the lives of His children's, who will? He has the legal rights to correct them [i.e. our children] because they are called by His name and has been bought by shedding His very own precious blood as an blessed exchange for covering and cleansing of all their sins (Dan 9:19; 2 Chronicles 7:14; 1 Cor 6:20; 7:23). See what God says in Amos 3:1-2, "1 Hear this word that the LORD has spoken against you, O children of Israel, against the whole family which I brought up from the land of Egypt, saying: 2 " You only have I known of all the families of the earth; Therefore I will punish you for all your iniquities." The New Testament also confirms this by saying, " 5 And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: " My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; 6 For whom the LORD loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives." 7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? 8 But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons." (Heb 12:5-8). When we as a parent have dedicated our children's in to the hands of God, they become His property. From that point of time God will intervene, teach them and correct them with chastening whenever they rebel and do things outside our parental zone of visibility.

7) If God does not really intervene in to the lives of our children, why did Jacob by faith prophesied accurately about the future of each of his sons before his death (Gen 49:1-33; Heb 11:21). It was a prayer of faith that he prayed to God telling Him about the plans that He had for the sons of Jacob in the future. God does have a plan for each one of our children individually. So by faith take it from the realm of the Spirit and then pray to God and decree it over the lives of each of your children individually. Surely God is pleased with such prayer of faith and will bring your children in to their individual prophetic destinies. This is what God says to you regarding the destinies that He has individually prepared for your children, "Thus says the LORD, the Holy One of Israel, and his Maker: "Ask Me of things to come concerning My sons; and concerning the work of My hands, you command Me." " (Isaiah 45:11). In other words God is saying, ‘Ask me about the plans that I have for My sons [i.e. your children] and you remind Me by speaking over them by faith.' O what a privilege! Praise the Lord!